Saturday, November 4, 2017

Facing the Same Struggles- Again

I have let Satan win. Again. 

Ugh, will I ever learn? 

Maybe. But maybe not. Even as I am writing this, I'm giving in again.

I hear that voice of perfectionism in my head that is critiquing every word I type to make sure I'm saying everything correctly, that I'm using just the right words to get my point across. This voice is what keeps me from blogging more, it tells me I have to know just what to say and how to say it correctly and let's not forget about proper punctuation. Every time I think about writing a post, this voice starts questioning me: what do you think they want to hear, what picture are you going to use with the post, do you really have time to sit down and write, what about all your housework?

So, I don't write. I don't share with you what is on my heart, because I listen to that voice. That same voice also tells me that I'm a failure and that if I share what's really on my heart, you will all see just how many times I really fail. You will really see that I do NOT have it all together. Not even close.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Growing in Servanthood

Serving others joyfully does not come naturally to me. 

It is not one of my gifts.

But I wish it was...

and I'm working on being better about it.

God has really been speaking to my heart lately that I had fallen back into the trap of selfishness, which easily leads to bitterness and resentment if I'm not careful.

I can start having thoughts such as "Why am I the only one that ever picks up around here?" or "When do I get a day off?" and those thoughts are very unhealthy for me. If I buy into those thoughts, I can become bitter toward my family and resent serving them. 

I become irritable and grumpy.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Proverbs 31 Message

Hymn to a Good Wife

10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

Proverbs 31:10-31 The Message Bible

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Laying Down My Mask

I'm going to be really open and vulnerable with you on this post and trust me, it isn't easy for me. I would not be sharing these feelings with you, except I feel God telling me to because someone else needs to read it. Someone else needs to know they aren't the only ones that feel this way and that it's okay. 

I believe it's time we, as sisters in Christ, lay down the masks and be real. We have to be open. We have to let others know it's okay to not have it all together. How can we build each other up if we don't even know we are falling down?

I don't know where to start other than just jump in and blurt it all out. 

So here it goes...