Saturday, November 4, 2017

Facing the Same Struggles- Again

I have let Satan win. Again. 

Ugh, will I ever learn? 

Maybe. But maybe not. Even as I am writing this, I'm giving in again.

I hear that voice of perfectionism in my head that is critiquing every word I type to make sure I'm saying everything correctly, that I'm using just the right words to get my point across. This voice is what keeps me from blogging more, it tells me I have to know just what to say and how to say it correctly and let's not forget about proper punctuation. Every time I think about writing a post, this voice starts questioning me: what do you think they want to hear, what picture are you going to use with the post, do you really have time to sit down and write, what about all your housework?

So, I don't write. I don't share with you what is on my heart, because I listen to that voice. That same voice also tells me that I'm a failure and that if I share what's really on my heart, you will all see just how many times I really fail. You will really see that I do NOT have it all together. Not even close.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Growing in Servanthood

Serving others joyfully does not come naturally to me. 

It is not one of my gifts.

But I wish it was...

and I'm working on being better about it.

God has really been speaking to my heart lately that I had fallen back into the trap of selfishness, which easily leads to bitterness and resentment if I'm not careful.

I can start having thoughts such as "Why am I the only one that ever picks up around here?" or "When do I get a day off?" and those thoughts are very unhealthy for me. If I buy into those thoughts, I can become bitter toward my family and resent serving them. 

I become irritable and grumpy.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Proverbs 31 Message

Hymn to a Good Wife

10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

Proverbs 31:10-31 The Message Bible

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Laying Down My Mask

I'm going to be really open and vulnerable with you on this post and trust me, it isn't easy for me. I would not be sharing these feelings with you, except I feel God telling me to because someone else needs to read it. Someone else needs to know they aren't the only ones that feel this way and that it's okay. 

I believe it's time we, as sisters in Christ, lay down the masks and be real. We have to be open. We have to let others know it's okay to not have it all together. How can we build each other up if we don't even know we are falling down?

I don't know where to start other than just jump in and blurt it all out. 

So here it goes...

Monday, February 27, 2017

How Am I Making Others Feel?

Have you ever been so moved by someone that you couldn't stop thinking about the encounter with them?

Moved because just being around this person made you feel special, they made you feel important and loved?

I had an encounter like that recently and it touched my heart so much that I just could not stop thinking about it. 

Let me fill in a few details for you...

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Letting Go of Fear

I didn't realize it at first, but I had let fear and perfectionism stop me from doing what God had called me to do.

God told me to create WHEW Tribe to encourage and lift up other women; to let them know they were not alone.

I made excuses: I don't have time, I don't know what to write, I don't know what they need, and on and on...

But the truth is...

I was afraid of what some people might say if I wrote what was really on my heart.

I was afraid of the criticism I might get if I didn't write properly, using the right grammar and punctuation. Because goodness knows it's been a long time since I was in school.

I was afraid of the negative comments I might get; of the theological debates that might ensue if I shared my beliefs. I am not a theologian by any means. 


It's such a powerful thing.

A crippling thing.

But do you know what? All of those things I was afraid of weren't even REAL! They were all things that MIGHT happen, things I let the devil whisper in my ear to keep me from DOING what I was called to do. 

It kept me from doing anything. 

The fear of doing it wrong kept me from doing it at all. 

But then God.

God spoke to me.

Earlier this month I had the privilege of attending IF:Gathering in Austin, TX with three of my best friends. We had a BLAST! Oh my goodness- we laughed, we cried and we laughed so hard we cried! But we also drew near to Jesus. We worshiped. We prayed. We leaned in close.

And He met us there.

He'll meet you anywhere, He will.

But let me just tell you, He was there.

He knew what I needed to hear and He spoke it right to me through Jennie Allen (and some other pretty amazing women). I learned from each of them, but Jennie is the one that spoke what I needed to hear.

I was reminded of my calling, my mission. I am to disciple other women. I am to share Jesus' love with them. I don't need to grow a big blog. I don't need to write a book. I just need to love Jesus and give Him away. 

That's it. Love Jesus and give Him away.

It's that simple.

I was trying to make it hard, trying to make some big thing of it. When all I have to do is love Him and then share Him with others.

Okay God, I can do that.

But wait...
there was more for me.

God also reminded me of a very important truth.....I have nothing to prove. Again through Jennie Allen, this truth resonated with me so deeply I can't even describe it to you. 

I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

I am enough.

Just as I am.

Because I have Jesus...

and Jesus is enough.

This one truth is unbelievably freeing.

I've only begun to dig into this concept through Jennie's new book, Nothing to Prove, but I can tell you that even if I don't read another word, it has changed everything for me.

I can quit struggling.

I can quit trying to live up to some image I've created in my mind.

I can be who God created me to be and that is enough.

So here I am.. in all my imperfections..ready to share the love of Jesus with anyone willing to listen.

I pray you are blessed and encouraged, but mostly I pray you feel Jesus' love here.

~ Kim